Miami DMV Appointment Scalpers: How People Are Selling Spots for Cash

Welcome to Miami-Dade, where getting a DMV appointment is harder than getting into an exclusive nightclub. You can spend weeks refreshing the website, only to be met with the dreaded “No Appointments Available” message. But don’t worry—some entrepreneurial Florida Men have found a solution: scalping DMV spots like they’re front-row tickets to a Bad Bunny concert.

Need a DMV Appointment? That’ll Be $200, Bro.

Forget waiting three months to renew your license. Some clever locals have figured out that if you hoard DMV appointments and resell them, you can make a killing—because let’s be real, desperate Floridians will pay anything to avoid dealing with government bureaucracy.

Here’s how it works:

1. Step 1: Book as many DMV appointments as humanly possible using bots (or a cousin with nothing better to do).
2. Step 2: List them on Facebook Marketplace, Craigslist, and WhatsApp groups like a modern-day black-market driving instructor.
3. Step 3: Profit.

These slots are going for anywhere from $25 to $200, depending on the location and how desperate you are to get back on the road legally. And if you don’t like the price? Tough luck—see you in 2025 when the next free appointment opens up.

Miami’s Newest Side Hustle

Listen, we get it. Florida is expensive, rent is ridiculous, and side hustles are a way of life. But when we’ve reached the point where booking a DMV slot is a full-fledged business, you know we’re in trouble.

Meanwhile, the actual DMV is just standing in the corner like, “We should probably do something about this… right?”

But nah. Instead, we’ll just keep refreshing that broken website at 2 AM, hoping to strike gold.

How to Avoid Paying a DMV Scalper (Good Luck!)

• Wake up at ungodly hours – Sometimes new slots magically appear between 4 AM and 6 AM, because apparently, the DMV operates on vampire hours.
• Go to the middle of nowhere – If you’re willing to drive to a town where the population consists of three cows and a guy named Earl, you might score an appointment.
• Bribe your abuela – She’s got more patience than you and isn’t afraid to sit on the phone for hours to book you a legit spot.

At the end of the day, Miami’s DMV appointment system is just another chapter in the ongoing saga of WTFlorida, where the only law that truly exists is: if there’s a way to make money off chaos, someone will do it.

Stay safe out there, and may the DMV odds be ever in your favor.